Keeping My Cool

Sometimes I just have to stop and wonder what the hell people are thinking. Some people just seem to lack any type of common sense whatsoever.

I mentioned in my first post that I am going through a divorce. It's not an easy situation but both he and I are trying to keep things amicable for the sake of our daughter. More often than not, it's extremely difficult for me to keep my composure when dealing with him because all I feel is anger and hurt and resentment. There are days when I just wish his balls would literally shrivel up and fall off, but for the most part I keep those kinds of thoughts to myself. Anyways, my ex just seems to keep pushing my buttons and I am really getting sick of it. I don't think he's doing any of it on purpose, he just really seems to be too dumb to think about how his actions make other people feel.

Last night he was dropping our daughter off from his weekly visit with her and he had the nerve to bring the grown daughter of his mistress to my house. Logically, I know the daughter has nothing to do with the situation, but it doesn't really matter to me at this point. I wish I could just wash my hands clean of the entire situation but I can't because he and I have a daughter together. the only thing i can do is distance myself as much as possible and that means not dealing with anything having to do with the mistress and her kids/friends/etc. For him to bring her daughter into my home without even asking is just appalling to me. Who does he think he is and what was he thinking?!? It took every ounce of self control in me to stop myself from flipping out, but I did manage to stay calm. I spoke to him about it after he had left and he claims she was just helping him carry stuff inside. BS. He really is a dunce.

Even though I wish I didn't have to go through situations like this, I can say that I am proud of myself for keeping my cool and not letting him see my anger. It shows me that I'm improving from where I was emotionally a few months ago. I am nowhere near being completely healed but the fact that I can hold my temper in a situation like that shows me that I am getting stronger. He may have gotten the best of me once but he'll never get the best of me again.