Mommy Ramblings

My life has been pretty hectic lately. When is it not hectic? I have work, school, workouts, and mommy duties. My precious little Cecily is growing up so fast and although I love seeing her grow and thrive, it means more work for me. She is not content to just hang out in her swing anymore like she did when she was a month or two old. Now she wants to be read to and to be played with. She wants interaction and I am more than happy to give it to her, but like I said, it means more work for me.

Cecily will be six months old tomorrow and she is thisclose to crawling. She can get on all fours and rock back and forth, trying to get the coordination to actually move forward. She can also sit up without any assistance now and she rolls around like crazy. I have started her on solids and this week i started her on pea puree. She loves it! She is just so amazing and I love her so much. She is getting so big so fast and she is doing a good job at keeping me on my toes.

Starting her on solids (or purees at least) has made me think about the example I want to set for my daughter. I am working on undoing the unhealthy lifestyle I have been living for many years and I don't want to pass that along to her. I want her to start out healthy and continue that way so she doesn't have to undo anything. It's so much harder to try and get rid of bad habits than to never have bad habits at all. I want my daughter to love fruits and veggies and not know what fast food tastes like. I want her to enjoy activity and exercise and to never have to feel what it feels like to be overweight. She deserves that and I intend on teaching her healthy habits so she can live a long and healthy life.

I've been Glee-d

For a while now I've been hearing all the buzz about that Glee show. I remember seeiong the commercials for it before it came out but I never caught an episode and I kind of forgot about it. My friends and coworkers keep talking about how great it is, so I thought I'd finally give it a try. The second season started last week so I needed to catch up on the first season, which unfortunately is not all available on Hulu. I ended up renting the Season 1 DVD from Netflix and started watching it tonight...and I must say I am hooked. I love the actors and I love the singing. This show is definitely addicting! I usually am a sucker from trashy reality tv or crime dramas but Glee is really good and it's nice to watch something different than the norm. I'm only halfway through the first season, but I can offically say that I am a Glee watcher. :)

I Must Be Crazy

This week, I decided I am going to enter myself in a half marathon. Say what?!? I am the last person on Earth who would ever run in a marathon. I hate exercising and I especially hate running. So why, you may be asking, did I decide to make this crazy decision? Well, there's a couple different reasons.

1.) It's the Disneyland marathon that is held at the Disneyland theme park. I heart Disney and I don't think you could get much better scenery while running a marathon than Disneyland.

2.) I have been working on improving my overall health and fitness since January and I have been making great strides. Being able to train and complete this marathon would really show how far I have come.

3.) The timing of the marathon is perfect. It will be held on Labor Day weekend in September, which is right around the time my divorce will be finalized and just a few days before what would have been my 3rd wedding anniversary. Participating in the marathon will be really a really symbolic experience. It will kind of prove to myself that I have made it through the worst time in my life and I have come out a better person.

I am extremely nervous/excited/scared about this whole marathon experience, but I am ready to take on this challenge...I think. I told my trainer about it today and she is really excited to start training me for it. It's not until September so I have plenty of time to train and I know I'm going to need it. The marathon is actually a half marathon, so it's 13.1 miles and I don't have to actually run the whole time, but I do have to keep a 16 minute mile pace throughout. I think I will definitely hate my life the entire time during the marathon, but I know I will be so proud of myself once I finish. Let the training begin!

Keeping My Cool

Sometimes I just have to stop and wonder what the hell people are thinking. Some people just seem to lack any type of common sense whatsoever.

I mentioned in my first post that I am going through a divorce. It's not an easy situation but both he and I are trying to keep things amicable for the sake of our daughter. More often than not, it's extremely difficult for me to keep my composure when dealing with him because all I feel is anger and hurt and resentment. There are days when I just wish his balls would literally shrivel up and fall off, but for the most part I keep those kinds of thoughts to myself. Anyways, my ex just seems to keep pushing my buttons and I am really getting sick of it. I don't think he's doing any of it on purpose, he just really seems to be too dumb to think about how his actions make other people feel.

Last night he was dropping our daughter off from his weekly visit with her and he had the nerve to bring the grown daughter of his mistress to my house. Logically, I know the daughter has nothing to do with the situation, but it doesn't really matter to me at this point. I wish I could just wash my hands clean of the entire situation but I can't because he and I have a daughter together. the only thing i can do is distance myself as much as possible and that means not dealing with anything having to do with the mistress and her kids/friends/etc. For him to bring her daughter into my home without even asking is just appalling to me. Who does he think he is and what was he thinking?!? It took every ounce of self control in me to stop myself from flipping out, but I did manage to stay calm. I spoke to him about it after he had left and he claims she was just helping him carry stuff inside. BS. He really is a dunce.

Even though I wish I didn't have to go through situations like this, I can say that I am proud of myself for keeping my cool and not letting him see my anger. It shows me that I'm improving from where I was emotionally a few months ago. I am nowhere near being completely healed but the fact that I can hold my temper in a situation like that shows me that I am getting stronger. He may have gotten the best of me once but he'll never get the best of me again.

Welcome!

Well, this is the first post of my new blog. I am really excited about this. I had another blog that was dedicated to my weight loss and exercise journey, but it wasn't enough. I wanted to be able to write about my exercise and weight loss plus the rest of my life. So here I am. This blog will be all about my life.

In case you need a little bit of a backstory, I am Nicole, I'm 25, and I live in California. I have a gorgeous daughter named Cecily who is 5 months old. I am in the middle of a divorce from Cecily's father and the man I was with for 10 years. Shortly after Cecily's birth, I found out my husband was having an affair and he chose his new life over his old one. So, that brings me to the present. I am getting to know myself again and learning how to just be me. It's proving to be more than a little difficult to juggle being a single mommy, plus being a college student (only 2 more classes to go), plus working, plus life in general. I am growing stronger every day and I am redefining myself and my life. I am also working on becoming healthier and more fit. I have gained a lot of weight over the past 5 years and in January I really committed myself to changing my lifestyle. I have a personal trainer and I force myself to go to the gym as much as I can. It's a constant battle, but it is paying off because I have already lost some weight and have gone down 2 clothing sizes.

I just want this blog to be an outlet where I can vent, share stories, and just ramble about everything. I'm on my way to becoming a new and improved version of myself and I hope all of you out there follow along.