I Want My Iphone Now

I will be the first to admit that I can be spoiled. I want what I want and I want it when I want it. Blame it on my parents or my own selfishness, whatever. I am who I am and I've learned to embrace it.

I am also an iphone addict. I love my iphone and will never go back to another type of phone. My iphone has everything I need. I can text, make phone calls, play words with friends, track my gas mileage, use mapquest, look up recipes, and make my shopping list. I would be lost without my iphone. Obviously, I was excited when I heard about the new iphone 4 coming out. I have been available for an upgrade since May, but I waited until the new phone came out to use my upgrade. Today, the new iphone came out but I still haven't used my upgrade. Why? Because I was denied. Denied for a new iphone. Both Best Buy and ATT denied me because I didn't preorder, so now I have to wait. I don't like being told no and I don't like waiting. So, here I sit, bitter and irritated that I was denied a shiny new iphone. Excuse me while I pout.

Please vote!

I entered Cecily in a contest for Parents magazine and she got through the first round. She now needs to get into the semi-finals and then she will have the chance to be on the cover of Parents magazine. How amazing would that be? Please do me a huge favor and vote by clicking on the link. Oh, and don't forget, you can vote daily.

http://photos.parents.com/category/vote/photo/313022?esrc=nwphotofaves4

Inked

I am now a mommy with a tattoo. :)

I have wanted a tattoo for a long time, but I had never found one with any special meaning or one that I liekd enough to have on my body forever. I had been thinking about it a lot more lately because of everything I have been going through in the last 6 months. Divorces and chilbirth seem to make a person do some really hard thinking. I was browsing online last week and found the perfect tattoo for me. It is the only tattoo I have ever see and instantly knew it was the one for me. It's a dandelion being blown by the wind. To me, it symbolizes changes. Life can sometimes seem so settled and permenent, but in an instant, everything can change. I decided to get the tattoo on the back of my neck because it's a place where I can hide the tatoo if I want or show it off if I want. I was really nervous about getting it because I've never gotten a tattoo and was scared of the pain, but it wasn't too bad. I won't lie, it did hurt quite abit and some spots of it were harder to endure than others, but all in all it wasn't too bad. It was 20 minutes of uncomfortableness and then I had this:



I love it and I'm realy glad I finally did it. It's just another part of the process of becoming a whole new and improved me.

Weekly Weigh-In

Beginning Weight: 280
Previous Weight: 266
Current Weight: 258

See that number? That means I lost 6 pounds this week. Oh yeah! BTW, I am totally doing a happy dance in my chair right now. I worked hard for those 6 pounds. I didn't get to the gym every day, but I went as often as I could and I worked hard while I was there. Lately my cardio has been focused on running on the treadmill and increasing my endurance level. I can now run a mile in 15:15, which isn't great for most people but for me that's a record. In January, I couldn't even run a mile all the way through so that is such a huge improvement for me. I need to keep improving because if I am going to do the Disney marathon in September I need to do 13.1 miles all in less than 16 minutes per mile. That seems really daunting to me right now and I hope I can get there.

Weekly Weigh-In

I am going to start documenting my weekly progress with my weight loss journey. Since January I have been working on changing my lifestyle into a more healthy and well balanced one. I gained a lot of weight during my pregnancy and I just wasn't at a healthy place in my life in general. I hired a trainer, got myself a gym membership, and began working hard. I started out at 280 pounds and I was doing really well up until this past month. Let's just say I fell off the weight loss wagon, so to speak. I began binge eating on foods that I know are not good for me and my body and I got really lazy with going to the gym. I know better and I have been feeling very guilty about it, especially because I have worked so hard to change for the better, yet it was so easy for those old habits to come back.

Today I faced the music and met with my personal trainer to face the music. I had not had a session with her in about 2 1/2 weeks, so I explained everything to her and we had a talk. She was very understanding and said that backslides do happen, but the important thing is to learn from them and just keep moving forward. I am going to take her advice and not let this setback determine the rest of my journey. I have worked too hard and too long to just give up. This is a lifelong marathon I'm in, not a short term sprint.

Okay, so here are my stats:

Beginning Weight: 280
Current Weight: 266

At the beginning of the month, I was 254 and my 1st short-term goal is to get under 250. I am already making the necessary steps to get back on the wagon. I am journaling all food I eat and am back on my regular exercise regime. I'm ready to do this!

My First Mother's Day

I am counting this as my first official Mother's Day because last year I was a mother in training. I was still pregnant and still experiencing horrible all day nausea and vomiting. I could only eat pineapples and yogurt without gagging and all I wanted to do was sleep all day long. This year, I have a beautiful, healthy, happy baby girl who is everything to me.

I thought that today might me a little difficult emotionally for me. I don't have a husband or partner to help me celebrate this day and my daughter is only 6 months old so obviously, she can't celebrate with me. I thought Mother's Day might make me focus on how off track my life has gotten from where I thought it should be. In actuality, my first real Mother's Day was pretty great. My parents got me a card and a present from Cecily, which was very nice and thoughtful of them. The rest of the day was spent relaxing and eating with my family, which is always fun.

In a perfect world, my husband would have signed a card from Cecily to me and he would have been the one spoiling me. You know what thought? It's okay. I am the lucky one, even without a husband to spoil me, because I have my daughter. I know Mother's Day is about the mother's but I can't help but feel extra appreciative towards my daughter today. She has made me into the person (and the mommy) that I am. She has shown me true love and true selflessness. I don't know where I would be without her and every day I spend with her makes me incredibly happy. She is the one that keeps me going and makes me want to be a great mother. I just kept focusing on the positives today instead of the negatives and it worked. I feel loved and I feel appreciated, which is ultimately what this day is all about.

Going It Alone

I am new to this single mommy thing. In fact, I am new to this mommy thing in general. I had a baby and then got separated in a span of 2 months, so life never really gave me the chance to know what it's like to have a partner to help out with baby duties. There have been things that I don't allow myself to do or even think about because I feel like I am limited by being a single parent. I would tell myself "Oh, I can't go there, because it's too hard with just me and the baby." or"I can't do that because I don't have a husband to help me with the baby." I wasn't trying to have a pity party for myself, I was just trying to accept the fact that being a single parent has its own set of difficulties and I thought there were things that required two set of hands to handle efficiently.

Last week, I tried to put that thinking behind me and I took a leap of faith. I took my daughter to Disneyland by myself. We actually were meeting up with my best friend, her husband, and their 3 year old daughter but I was doing the 2 1/2 hour drive there alone and I knew once we were at the park it would definitely test my mothering skills. Even though I had people there who would help me if I needed it, it is still different than having a partner there with you. I was very nervous. What if my daughter wouldn't stop crying? What if I didn't have enough hands to load and unload everything? How was I going to handle a day at an amusement park with a 6 month old by myself? As nervous as I was, I knew this was a test I needed to finish for my own peace of mind. I needed to see if I could do this. There are millions of other single mothers around the world, so there must be a way to handle it all without losing your mind. I just needed to take that first step.

I am happy to report that both my daughter and I had a blast at Disneyland and we both made it home safe and sound. The drive there was uneventful and my daughter slept the entire way there. She was pretty good during the day, minus a few episodes of crying when she got really tired or hungry, but they were short lived and easily remedied. By the end of the day, we were exhausted but we had survived. More importantly, I had proven to myself that I am strong enough to do things on my own. Would it have been easier with a partner to help out with things? Yes, but right now that's not an option in my life so I made adjustments and everything turned out just fine. I think doing things like this is important to show myself that I am capable of more than I think I am. Being a single mother does not have to limit me. Thanks for that lesson, Mickey Mouse.